I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize