Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
