I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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