I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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