I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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