smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
