We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize