check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
