mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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