three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
