Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
