I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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