but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
