Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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