apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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