I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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