Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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