Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
