So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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