no, he came in my armpit
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
