If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
