i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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