we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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