You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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