I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Me too!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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