Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
