Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
