I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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