a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
