No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
