Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
