He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
