so explain again why im purple
no
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We are all done wearing pants today
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
