Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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