just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
