What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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