can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
