Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
