I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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