Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize