youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
do nipples grow back?
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