I wanna passion pit in your ass
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
