You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's shark week go big or go home
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize