When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just want nice things and good sex
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
