So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
