Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Edward fifth and chaser hands
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
