I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
