perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
