hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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