Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
