We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do vagina's smell?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
