i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
