Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
