I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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