she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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