The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
