I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
