if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
