VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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