once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
