I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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