I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My ass is underappreciated
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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