I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Drake has all the answers
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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